Christmas gifts for elderly parents who have everything

By the time parents reach their seventies and eighties, most have the slippers, the scented candles and the biscuit tins. "I don't need anything" is usually true. But that doesn't mean nothing would help. It just means the best gifts are rarely in the shops.

We've grouped the ideas below by what they do, and added a note on who each suits. There are no affiliate links and no products we're paid to mention. Dottie, the companion we make, appears once, as one idea among many.

Before you buy: three questions

• What does a normal week look like for them? Busy with friends and clubs, or long and quiet? If you're not sure, our guide to the signs of loneliness may help.
• What's got harder lately? Reaching the top shelf, reading small print, hearing the telly, getting to the shops?
• What do they miss? A hobby they've given up, a place, a person, a taste of something?

If brothers and sisters are buying too, compare notes. One well-chosen shared gift often beats four small ones.

The gift of time

Hard to wrap, easy to love.

1. A year of dates. A homemade calendar with one outing pencilled in each month: lunch at the garden centre in March, the seaside in June. Suits: almost everyone, especially those who say "don't buy me anything".
2. A regular call, booked in. Agree a time each week and stick to it. Split the week between siblings if you can. Our guide to helping from a distance has ideas for a family rota. Suits: parents who live alone or far away.
3. A day of jobs. Clearing the gutters, sorting the loft, putting up shelves, digging the vegetable bed. Write it on a card as a voucher. Suits: proud parents who won't ask for help.
4. Teach them one new thing. Video calls, a playlist of their favourite songs, how to see the grandchildren's photos. Suits: curious parents who'd like to do more with their phone or tablet.
5. Cook together. An afternoon making their signature dish, with you writing the recipe down as they go. Suits: the family cook.

Comfort and warmth

Winter matters. The NHS lists people aged 65 and over among those most at risk from cold weather, and suggests heating rooms you use often to at least 18°C.

6. Slippers with a good grip. The NHS advice on preventing falls includes well-fitting shoes or slippers with a good grip that stay on your feet. Look for a closed back rather than a mule. Suits: everyone, and especially anyone who shuffles about in old, stretched ones.
7. Warm layers. Thermal socks, a soft cardigan, a lap blanket for the armchair. Suits: parents who feel the cold or worry about heating bills.
8. A heated throw. Choose one with an automatic switch-off, and follow the instructions. Suits: anyone who sits for long spells in the evening. Think twice if they're forgetful about switching things off.
9. A room thermometer. A clear, large-number one, so they can see at a glance whether the room is warm enough. Suits: careful savers who keep the heating low.
10. A good reading lamp. A bright lamp by the chair makes reading, crosswords and knitting easier. Suits: readers and makers.

Memory-keeping

These are as much a gift for the family as for your parent.

11. A family photo book. Gather pictures from everyone, add captions, and have it printed. Suits: almost everyone. Even better if the grandchildren help choose the photos.
12. Old photos, slides or cine film, digitised. Boxes of slides in the loft become something the whole family can see. Suits: families with a stash of old pictures nobody has looked at for years.
13. A recorded conversation. Sit down over Christmas, with their agreement, and ask about their life. Our list of questions to ask your parents about their life will get you started. Suits: natural storytellers.
14. A question-a-week life story. Some services email a question each week and turn the written answers into a book. Our Storyworth alternative comparison looks at the options. Suits: parents who enjoy writing and use email.
15. A family recipe book. Collect everyone's favourite of their dishes, ask them for the method, and print it. Suits: the family cook, again.

Staying in touch

16. A tablet, set up properly. On a stand, by their chair, with big text and your face on the home screen. A new tablet in its box isn't much of a gift, so our guide on how to set up a tablet for an elderly parent walks you through it. Suits: parents who'd love video calls with the grandchildren.
17. A digital photo frame the family can send pictures to. New photos simply appear. It needs Wi-Fi and some setting up by you. Suits: grandparents with family far away, and people who don't want to touch a screen.
18. A simpler phone. Big buttons, a loud ring and a few numbers saved as favourites. For a parent with hearing loss, the US National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders describes captioned phones, which show the other person's words as text during a call. Suits: parents who struggle with a smartphone or with hearing on the phone.
19. Stamped, addressed postcards. A stack addressed to each grandchild, so writing back is easy. Suits: letter-writers, and grandparents who'd like to hear from the grandchildren more often.
20. A friendly voice for the quiet hours. Dottie is an AI voice companion that your parent taps on a tablet or phone and chats with, any time of day. She's honest that she's an AI and is company between your calls, not instead of them. You set it up from your phone, the first week is free, and our page on giving Dottie explains how. Suits: people who live alone and enjoy a natter. It won't suit everyone, and that's fine.

Practical safety at home

These work best when your parent agrees they'd be useful. Present them as making life easier, not as a sign they're "getting on".

21. Night lights. NHS Lancashire and South Cumbria suggests a night light near the bed for getting up in the dark, and motion-activated lights for bathrooms and stairs, which only come on when needed. Suits: anyone who gets up in the night.
22. Grab rails and a non-slip bath mat, fitted. The NHS suggests both for the bathroom, along with rails on stairs or steps. The gift is the fitting, done properly by you or a handyperson. Suits: parents who find the bath or steps a bit of a wobble.
23. A home fire safety visit. Many UK fire and rescue services offer free home visits that include fitting smoke alarms where needed. Bedfordshire Fire and Rescue Service, for example, lists people over 65 and those who live alone among those who may benefit, and you can request a visit for someone else. In the US, some local Red Cross chapters will install free smoke alarms. Suits: everyone. The only cost is a phone call.
24. A personal alarm. A pendant or wristband that calls for help at the press of a button. Among its tips on falls, the NHS suggests wearing a personal alarm or keeping a phone on you. Suits: parents who are unsteady and like the idea. It should always be their choice. (Dottie isn't a personal alarm, and doesn't call anyone by herself.)
25. A big-button TV remote. Small, cheap and surprisingly welcome. Suits: anyone who squints at a remote covered in tiny buttons.

Experiences

26. A matinee, concert or panto. Afternoon shows mean no travelling home in the dark. Offer to drive. Suits: music and theatre lovers.
27. A membership. A garden, museum or heritage organisation gives a year of days out. In the US, citizens and residents aged 62 and over can get a National Parks Senior Pass, which covers entrance fees at participating federal sites. Suits: parents who still get out and about.
28. A trip back. A day visiting the town where they grew up, the school, the old street. Bring a notebook. Suits: anyone who talks fondly about "back home".
29. A class. Painting, a choir taster, a cookery class you do together. Suits: sociable parents, and those who've recently lost a partner and are ready to try something new.

For a parent with sight or hearing loss

30. A library of audiobooks, for free. In the UK, RNIB's Talking Books service is free, lets members borrow up to six books at a time and delivers them free to the door. In the US, the Library of Congress's National Library Service for the Blind and Print Disabled is a free library programme, mailing audiobooks postage-free or offering them through its BARD Mobile app, for people who can't read standard print because of a visual, physical or reading disability. The gift is signing them up, and maybe a simple way to listen. Suits: readers whose eyes are letting them down.

For hearing, the NIDCD also describes personal amplifiers that can help with the television, and alerting devices that flash a light when the doorbell or phone rings. Ask their audiologist what would work with their hearing aids.

Gifts to think twice about

• More things to dust. Ornaments and gadgets they'll never use only add clutter.
• Tech without the set-up. If you can't set it up and show them how, choose something else.
• Anything that watches them without their say. Cameras and trackers should be their decision, made with them, never a surprise under the tree.
• Subscriptions they'll have to manage. If you give one, pay for it from your own account so they're never chased for a renewal.
• Gifts that say "old". A walking aid or a pill organiser can be welcome, but only if they've mentioned wanting one. Otherwise it can sting.

Questions families ask